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Customers say the most stupid things...

  • 17th Apr, 2007 at 1:52 AM
Doctor - Smack
For example... (and yes, I have heard all of these, many, many times)

Oooh love, don't ever get old will you?
Sure, pass me a sword and I'll commit hara-kiri right here. 

Do you sell lemons?
No! Don't be stupid! Why would 'The Fruit Shop' (highly imaginative name, that) sell lemons? Are they a fruit?

Do you sell potato mashers/corkscrews/salmon/tin openers?
BWAHAHAHAomigodyou're not actually joking, are you? Um, 'The Fruit Shop'. As in, shop that sells fruit. 

Where are your mushrooms?
You're... actually stood right in front of them. So close it's not even funny.

Where are your carrots? 
Where they were the last time you came in. And the time before that. And the time before...

Why are those potatoes dirty, Mum?
Please to be taking the small child away before I ask what they're teaching in schools these days. It makes me feel old.
I don't know, sweetheart. Excuse me, why are these potatoes so dirty?
asfgjsal;HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?!

What time does the bus leave/the picture shop open/ the toilets close?
Do I look like the Tourist Information Service?

And finally, my personal (non-)favourite

It's a lovely/wet/horrible/sunny day?
Really? I would never have guessed, y'know? Not like I have oh, eyes say, or windows.

 Either I relentlessly extract the urine, or I reach the end of the proverbial tether and have a 'Take Your Rifle To Work Day'. Why yes, I am a bitch ^^

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kaowyn
cometjantshira
Comet, Fangirl Extraordinaire...

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